Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
