She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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