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..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
time to smoke my breakfast
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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