In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
