please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
