No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
