its not stalking. its research.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Randomize
