My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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