The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
