You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize