my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
