Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
