Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
try to milk me bitch
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