we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
