I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize