first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
