i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize