Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
