we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I want her autograph on my taint
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
