Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
