the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
