you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
