He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
