I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
