ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
