Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
