CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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