Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
