lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
