She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
