Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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