i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
