JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize