I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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