u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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