I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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