Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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