i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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