can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
