she was so not down for the gang bang
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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