and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
