Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
