We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
