we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
