Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
