sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
