singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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