What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
