I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
