New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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