new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
