sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
