Those balls look pretty dangerous.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
