She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
