The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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