I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
