i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
