We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
