You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
