Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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