Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
